Long Road to San Diego - - Every Option Explored

I am honored to write this blog for Sherrie, Joe and the Kahler family. It has been a long, grueling day for them.

My name is Ron Neilson.  I had the privilege of sharing this day with the Kahlers and now I am honored to write this blog.

This is the blog no one wanted to write.  This is the blog no one wanted to read.  The Kahlers are driving back to Phoenix from San Diego knowing that every option has been explored.  Dr Lowy took a great deal of time with us and concluded by explaining an operation now would simply do more harm than good.

Monday night into Tuesday morning was a long night for Joe and Sherrie as Joe was up often vomiting and in pain.  Sherrie lovingly took care of him to keep him as comfortable as possible using everything she has learned in these past months and applying medications as appropriate.  Tuesday's appointment could not come soon enough.  Then, early in the morning before sunrise Joe awoke and announced he is ready to go!  Sherrie had to calm him and tell him the RV and the others were not quite ready.  By 5:30 AM though, Sherrie, Amanda, Mike (Sherrie's brother), Doug (Candace's husband) and Mark (their cousin) settled Joe into the RV and began the long drive to the University of California San Diego and the Moores Cancer Center.

The RV was graciously donated for this trip through friends and the Kahlers are very grateful as it is unimaginable how they would have made this trip without it.  Yet, with all the bumps and shakes one gets riding on the highway, even in the comfort of a bed in a RV Joe was wearing out quickly.  Although there were  stops along the way Joe was exhausted when they arrived at UCSD.  It was 12:30 Pacific time.

I meet them here at UCSD.  Sherrie patiently got Joe cleaned up and changed.  Once cleaned and dressed we made it into the office and by 1:15 checked in for the 2:15 appointment.  Unfortunately we discovered that appointments earlier in the day encountered complications that delayed Joe getting in.  Sitting uncomfortably in the waiting room Joe sat patiently, not complaining.  Eventually they called Joe's name and we headed back.  We met Dr. Lowy's RN, Nurse Debbie who spent 25 minutes reviewing Joe's medical history with Sherrie, all his meds, his timetables, the current complications and areas of pain.  Sherrie then gave Joe some relief by administering pain medications there while the nurse looked on.  Debbie impressed all of us as she stayed to talk with Sherrie and Amanda about the Daddy Daughter Dance, Amanda's book PULLING THE CANCER CARD and this blog site.  She took her time reviewing several months back.  In all she was with us over 25 minutes.

At 4:10 Doctor Lowy and his assistant entered the room.  He talked very patiently with Sherrie as Joe simply lay on the examination table listening.   

He apologized for the three hour wait then examined Joe's abdomen.  He confirmed that the rock-like texture to the abdomen was from tumors forming.  Doctor Lowy impressed us, leading us to believe he is the best in his field.  He said he does surgery many times when others refuse, sometimes when his peers tell him he is crazy.  "Heck, sometimes I think I am crazy for doing some of the operations".  He then patiently explained why he would be unable to perform the surgery on Joe.  The multiple tumors are a tougher consistency than the intestines and any attempt to remove tumors would cause multiple tears, gaps, and holes in the intestines.  He said as bad as Joe is, surgery would only make him worse.  Best case and unlikely scenario successful surgery would only gain Joe a couple of weeks.  Most probable and worse case scenario since his intestines are like "noodles glued together" removing any tumor would lead to further complications and leave Joe with an open wound.  Doctor Lowy recommended Joe return to hospice and have them make him as comfortable as possible during his remaining days.

At this Sherrie explained this is what she was afraid of but hoped it had not come to this.  She is satisfied the Kahler family has tried every treatment available, every option has been explored.  She thanked Doctor Lowy.  Yet, she had one more question.  How long do you think he has.  Doctor Lowy said good question and he will give his best answer but we have to know doctors never get this one right.  He said "weeks, at most, a month".

As the California sun was dipping into the blue Pacific Ocean the Kahlers had loaded up the RV and began the long journey home.

Long Road To San Diego  Part II

Strength

I do hope Sherrie will include this in Joe's Game Plan as it is important for all of you to see the other half of the story.  This is Ron Neilson writing again, continuing the story.

Sherrie is an incredible woman.  God bless her.  Joe, you've done well.  Sherrie rightfully tells us how Joe has gone through excruciating pain and difficulties yet soldiered on without a complaint.  Yet she has not talked about herself.  Sherrie is as tough of a woman as they come.  She is as strong as any woman I know.  She stood there listening to the doctor describe the tumors inside of Joe and how hideous his situation has become and what his body is going through.  Standing strong, looking straight at the doctor she then asked the doctor how much longer does Joe have.  The response surprised her, thinking there was more time, yet she did not flinch.  She has been there for Joe since day one taking care of him, nursing him, doing everything she can for him.  Each day gets increasingly tougher and more complicated for Sherrie, yet she does not complain and is always the first to smile.  Her strength is truly amazing.

The Kahlers are blessed with you, so many loving friends and relatives.  They so appreciate the hundreds of Valentine's Day cards, letters and greetings you sent.  Sherrie reads these to Joe and this gives them pleasant moments in their day as if escaping, even for a little while from all the gruesome cancer unpleasantries.

I have come to know the Moore's Cancer Center all to well and thus could help them through their day here.  I was in the room when Doctor Lowy gave Joe, Sherrie and Amanda the devastating news.  It was truly painful and one of the saddest moments of my life. 

Once outside the hospital Sherrie mentioned to me her new plan is to spend as much time with Joe enjoying the good moments.  She looks forward to the times the two of them will laugh, the smiles, the uniquely Joe comments he will surprise her with.  Each coming moment will be treasured.  The Kahler family will have an opportunity to share in some of these moments. 

All of us are blessed to know this truly beautiful, amazing and strong family.

Your continued love, support and prayers for this family are greatly appreciated.