Joe's Obituary & Last Minute Funeral Notes

Joe's obituary appeared in the Arizona Republic today.  You can also find it on line for 30 days at:

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/azcentral/obituary.aspx?n=joseph-brett-kahler&pid=171057960&fhid=20164

If you can't get the link to work, go to www.azcentral.com  and click on obituaries.

Joseph Brett Kahler

Kahler, Joseph Brett passed away on May 13, 2014. Joe Kahler, of Chandler, passed away with his wife and daughters by his side on Tuesday, May 13, 2014 at the age of 56. Joe fought such a courageous battle against appendix cancer for the last 2 1/2 years. Joe was born May 4, 1958 in Lancaster, CA and graduated from Whittier College in 1981. He moved to AZ upon graduating and began working at Garrett (now Honeywell). He obtained his Master's Degree from ASU in 1990. He left Honeywell in 2004 to write a book titled "Out On My Own...Now What?" His book won the Family Choice award. He spoke at High Schools and Colleges across the country helping young people going "Out On Their Own." He returned to the Aerospace industry in 2008 for Wesco Dist. Joe played football and baseball in high school and college and continued playing sports in his adult years. He won numerous awards and championships throughout his life. He coached baseball and softball for years. He had a true love of sports - playing, coaching, and cheering on his favorite AZ teams. He also volunteered at Seton High School and the Knights of Columbus. His quick wit endeared him to his many friends and colleagues. He was always good for a laugh and a smile. He will always be remembered for his kindness, generosity, sense of humor, positive attitude, helping others, teaching and coaching kids, his love of licorice and Mountain Dew and his love of family and friends. He touched others in a way that made you feel like the most important person in the world and you truly felt blessed to be part of his life. Joe put everyone before himself. He is survived by the love of his life for 33 years, Sherrie, his beautiful daughters Candace Campbell (Doug), Amanda and Shelli, his grandkids Edison and Quinn Campbell, his parents Norm and Carolyn, his brother Norm Jr. (Roxanne) and sister Julie Walneuski (Mike), his brother-in-law and sister-in-law Mike and Mary McDaniel, his in-laws Eddie and Shirley McDaniel, his awesome nieces and nephews and his many loving friends. Visitation will be from 5:00 pm - 8:00 pm on Thursday, May 22nd at Queen of Heaven Mortuary, 1562 E. Baseline Road, Mesa. Funeral Mass will be held on Friday, May 23rd at 10:30 am at St. Mary Magdalene Church, 2654 E. Williams Field Road, Gilbert. In lieu of flowers, please consider a donation to Seton Catholic High School athletic programs, 1150 N. Dobson Road, Chandler, AZ 85224 or online at setoncatholic.org, to honor Joe's love of kids and sports.

Last Minute Funeral Notes

 

I just wanted to note a couple things regarding the funeral before Thursday/Friday.  First of all, the dress code is business casual (per Joe's request).  Joe's dress up is a golf shirt and nice pants.  He picked out his own outfit and that's what he is wearing.  Please don't wear a suit and tie unless that is what you are comfortable wearing.  Ladies, wear whatever is comfortable for you along the lines of business casual.

 

Also, please make sure you get to the church early.  We are expecting a large crowd and want to make sure folks have time to sign in, get their handout and find a seat before we start.  We are beginning the ceremony with the eulogy, so it is my hope that everyone will be on time.

 

The graveside service immediately following the ceremony is open to everyone.  We will have a motorcycle escort for everyone going to the service.  It will last about 15 minutes.  You can head straight to the reception if you are more comfortable or go to the graveside service.  Whatever makes you comfortable.

 

Thanks again to everyone for your help and assistance putting this together.  I know Joe is smiling all the way with us and would be absolutely thrilled with the response and support his family is receiving. 

 

Love You Guys more than you know,

 

Sherrie, Candace, Doug, Amanda and Shelli

 

Book Your Hotel quickly & Reception Request

1st SUBJECT:

We have negotiated a very good rate from a local hotel.  You need to book quickly though because rooms are filling up (graduations and Memorial Day).

Crowne Plaza San Marcos Resort
One San Marcos Place
Chandler, AZ  85225
480-812-0900

http://www.ihg.com/crowneplaza/hotels/us/en/chandler/phxqq/hoteldetail

Call the hotel direct (rates on line are higher)

480-812-0900
Ask for Amber and tell her you are with the Kahler group.  If Amber is not there, she said to tell the front desk that you would like to book the Special Offer rate/advance purchase rate from Amber.

The rooms are $80/night for 2 queens and $88/night for a king + pull out sofa.  The hotel is in the heart of Chandler and there are numerous bars and restaurants all within walking distance.  The hotel also has a bar and restaurant and all the rooms have just been refurbished.  It has a nice pool and golf course as well.  You can check out the photos on their website.

Book quickly before it fills up.  Call, text or email me if you have any problems. 

2nd SUBJECT:

We have secured a hall at Holy Spirit (Tempe) for the reception after the services.  If you would like to help with the food/drinks/set up/clean up,
please contact Cristy Cole at cristy.cole@yahoo.com or Carol Lawless at haleyjack@aol.com.

Thanks everyone for all your support.  I look forward to seeing you all.  Just wish it was under different circumstances, but I know Joe would be thrilled with us celebrating his life together.

XOXO
Sherrie



Thanks,
Sherrie

Funeral Information

Just a quick note to let you know what arrangements we have so far.

There will be a viewing/visit with the Kahler family as follows:

Thursday, May 22nd
5:00 pm - 8:00 pm (open hours)
Queen of Heaven Mortuary
1562 E. Baseline Road
Mesa, AZ  85204

Friday, May 23rd
10:30 am
St. Mary Magdalene Church
2654 E. Williams Field Road
Gilbert, AZ  85295

Motorcade Procession following to graveside service at Queen of Heaven Cemetery

Reception to follow (approximately 1:30 pm)
Place TBD

I'll be posting additional information regarding hotel recommendations and the reception information as soon as I get things confirmed.  I just wanted to get this information to you so those of you that can come, can make your travel plans.

As a side note, the girls and I are doing OK.  It's much harder than we imagined, but we are leaning on each other, are grateful Joe is no longer in pain and are so grateful for all of you.  We are receiving your posts, phone messages, text messages, emails and FB messages.  Sorry if we don't respond.  Just know how much we appreciate you. 

XOXO
Sherrie

He's at Peace

Joe is resting in peace. He passed at 8:14am. More to follow.

Hospice Home

I had Joe transported to the Hospice Home in Gilbert yesterday.  Joe had been up every 15-45 minutes around the clock.  He was starting to fall and was so restless.  He kept insisting that we remove his bile bag from his stomach.  It was a constant battle.  He couldn’t remember that the bag was surgically placed there like an anchor in a wall.  He had a big ball on the inside of the skin to protect it from coming out.  Unfortunately, they didn’t make it “Joe Proof”.  After 2 long days of trying to talk to Joe about it, trying to keep Joe calm and relaxed, we lost that battle.  Wednesday night (early Thursday morning), Joe took a fall at 2:30 am.  He cut his elbow and back.  We got him back in bed and he proceeded to get up about every 15 minutes to go to the bathroom.  I did not sleep and got up with him each time.  At 5:50 am I put him in the bathroom and he grabbed his tube/bile bag and yanked hard.  He had pulled it out of his stomach and threw it on the floor.  It happened so fast and I was stunned.  The Hospice Pastor told me later that Joe did that on purpose to let us know it was time to let go.  He was going to make sure of it. After he did that, I had to get past the shock and  kick it into gear to help him.  I won’t go into any more details, but just to say I woke Shelli up and we got him to bed while dealing with the hole in his stomach, got him more meds to help with the severe pain he was having in his stomach and elsewhere, called Hospice and said it’s time to move him.  They were wonderful and had a nurse, a counselor and transport there to get things moving.  While all of this was happening, a little white/grey bird kept tapping on the bathroom window as if trying to tell us something.  I’m probably reading into things, but it was so unusual.  While Hospice was working on Joe, I took a video and some pictures of our concerned visitor.

Once we got to the center, they worked hard to keep Joe calm.  He was in so much pain and they ended up having to medicate him every 10 minutes (dilaudid, ativan and haldol).  Finally, Joe calmed down.  His bleeding was pretty severe and they did a little test.  Around noon they told me that Joe is bleeding internally and will “bleed out” soon.  I asked how soon and they told me probably within 24 hours….at the most 48.  As much as you think you are prepared for that news, you can never be prepared to have your heart ripped out once again.

Soon after we got the news, a lot of our family from the valley had gathered around Joe.  We have been taking 1:1 time with him to say “see you later…never goodbye” and have been gathering as a group to tell stories to Joe.  Our Priest came by and anointed Joe (for the 3^rd time) and we were able to get his parents and sister/brother-in-law from California, here as well.  It’s been a day full of mental exhaustion, so many tears, some laughs, hugs, kisses and constant talking to Joe about how special he is, how many people he has touched, how many are praying for his comfort and letting him know it’s OK to go and be with the Lord.  He deserves it and we know he will be pain free, playing ball very soon.

Please understand that we know Joe can hear us and we are constantly reminding him you are all out there.  We don’t know exactly when he will take his journey and as hard as it will be on all of us, we are convinced that Joe will finally be pain free and in the Lord’s arms soon.

With Love and Thanks,

Sherrie

Happy Birthday Joe!!!!

First of all I want to thank Ron and all of you for posting the wonderful stories and messages.  Joe was just inundated with messages, gifts, food, cards, texts, phone calls and Facebook messages.  We read a little each day and it has definitely sunk in how much he means to folks and how much you all mean to him.  The birthday response has been incredible to say the least.  Shelli and I want to thank you guys for our birthday wishes too.  Our family always dreaded this week – 3 birthdays in the same week!  It’s exhausting, but you guys have made it so great with your prayers, love and support.

The birthday week had its good moments and bad ones.  We had to put our family dog Holly down.  She had cancer and like Joe, was not supposed to live this long.  The cancer just spread so bad and was consuming her body.  She was having trouble breathing and started to fall.  It was so hard on us, but it was the right thing to do.  Rest In Peace Holly!  We Love You!!! 

Joe knew it was his birthday and he knew he was 56 on May 4^th.  On May 3^rd, he started having a lot of pain and restlessness.  He was up every 30-60 minutes for over 24 hours.  No matter how much pain medications I gave him, nothing could keep him down.  He tried so hard to pull the tube out of his stomach and then he started getting organized.  I was so exhausted since I had zero sleep and when he was in the bathroom I laid down for a minute.  I fell asleep and woke up about 10 minutes later to find that Joe had taken everything out of his drawers and laid it out.  I asked him what he was doing and he said he lost the uniforms and equipment for the baseball tournament so he was going to use his stuff.  The rest of the night he talked about the upcoming game.   

We kept his birthday low key and just had some family over.  Joe opened more cards and then yelled at us to get the game going.  We felt so awkward, but he was determined this game was going to happen.  He directed us and we moved the furniture in the family room, set up bases using white napkins, put him behind home plate as the umpire, and used a balloon for the ball and a banana for a bat.  Grammy pitched and Edison batted and got a home run.  We took turns batting, fielding and pitching in our family room and actually had a blast.  Joe said it wasn’t exactly as he pictured it, but it was good.  The best part was after the game, he actually started to relax and rest more.  The mind and determination are so powerful. Joe definitely has a passion and I think we all know what he will be doing in Heaven - - anything to do with sports!!

After visiting, resting, reading cards and playing ball we took Joe for a walk with the family.

Joe's Birthday walk with Doug, Candace, Amanda, Shelli, Edison and Quinn

It was the perfect end to the day.  Joe slept better that evening then he had in several days.  When Hospice came today and asked him how his birthday was, he said “I didn’t die.  I really didn’t want to die on my birthday.”  Maybe that’s what he is waiting for.  I just don’t know.  Hospice said his blood pressure continues to increase, his pulse rate is high and continues to increase, his weight is now dropping (even with the TPN), his legs are swelling, he has fluid in his lungs and his “body mass” is just different.  All signs he’s in the final stages.  The only part that makes no sense is how in the world Joe gets ups, walks, showers and visits.  They keep saying they just haven’t seen anything like him.  We also talked about putting him in the Hospice Home.  I go back and forth and have not made a decision.  I’m taking vacation this week from work, so I will try and decide while I am off work.  It’s too hard to make that decision when I’ve had no sleep.  I’ll see how the week goes and hopefully will know when the right time to move him will be. 

Thank you all again for making this week so special for the Kahler family and especially for Joe.  Without your love and support, it could have been the worst birthday Joe has ever had.  Instead, you all made it so memorable for him.  We keep all the cards in a BIG basket in the family room as our constant reminder you are all out there for us.  We couldn’t do this without you.  God Bless each and every one of you. 

With all our love and thanks,

Sherrie, Joe, Shelli, Amanda, Candace, Doug, Edison and Quinn

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE

Family and friends,

I am honored to once again have the opportunity to write on Joe's Game Plan with Sherrie's permission.

Sherrie is a wonderful woman and has proven to be very strong in her ability to keep all of us informed during these very difficult months.  I can only try my best to imagine how difficult it is for her, yet one thing I can tell for certain is in the past few months each posting by her is increasingly difficult to write.  Let's try to help her out.

I know you have sent in cards and letters to the Kahler family expressing your love and support, which has been so important, as it has given them strength.  Some of your stories have given the family a few timely laughs, much needed and much appreciated.  Many of you shared your stories of Joe from yesteryear in person at one of the gatherings over the past several months.  There were the joyful high school and college reunions, the fun charity golf tournament and lunch, and there was the wonderful Daddy/ Daughter dance.  While many great "Joe" stories were exchanged during these get-togethers, not everyone who follows this site got to hear them or join in.  So here is an idea.

For Joe's birthday, which is Sunday May 4^th, let’s flood this blog site with birthday wishes.  Send your birthday wishes here for others to see and please share your "Joe" stories with each other while entertaining the Kahler family and all of us as well. If not registered to the blog or one of the log-ins, simply enter through the anonymous button.  You can sign your name at the end of your story or stay anonymous.  I realize many of you have already put a birthday card in the mail, while others may not have seen this post before May 4th, it doesn't matter.    Make your story long; make it short, but please share one or more of your favorite Joe Kahler stories here for all of us to read, as we can further share this time together and give a little gift of ourselves back to the Kahlers.

 HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE, we love you!

Let the stories begin.

Here is my story.

 R. G. Neilson

 

TOUCHDOWN MAKER

The smell of the green grass was never sweeter than that of the rectangular, white lined field, of five-yard intervals. Nothing compares to the smell and taste of that fresh-cut grass on an autumn night under the bright stadium lights with the cheering, Spirited crowd at our backs.

Wounded the week before, unable to practice during the week, dressed in full uniform but unable to play, the touchdown maker watched and impatiently paced along the sideline.  A separated shoulder can be painful at best, and fully debilitating for a football player.  The impact from the many collisions an all-star running back encounters in the normal progression of one game would only worsen the injury and delay full recovery.  Full rest and abstinence from this game was the coach’s prudent decision.  The game must be played without the touchdown maker.

Morro Bay, I believe it was.  We had gone there the year before.  This crisp and chilly October night it was us and them once again in the swirl of the high desert winds. Nearing the end of the first half things had gone well for the team wearing the scarlet and gold uniforms.  Seconds left before the halftime break.  Thirty some yards from our destination.  Timeout.  A trot to the sideline.  Quick conversation with the head coach.  “Run the circle route; 24 circle pass”.  With one wave of the coach’s hand #24 joined me on the trot back to the huddle.

One pass

One catch

One play

One touchdown

 That night of the glorious autumn of 1975 #24 the touchdown maker in one play once again led his team to victory.

 R. G. Neilson