Hospice Home

I had Joe transported to the Hospice Home in Gilbert yesterday.  Joe had been up every 15-45 minutes around the clock.  He was starting to fall and was so restless.  He kept insisting that we remove his bile bag from his stomach.  It was a constant battle.  He couldn’t remember that the bag was surgically placed there like an anchor in a wall.  He had a big ball on the inside of the skin to protect it from coming out.  Unfortunately, they didn’t make it “Joe Proof”.  After 2 long days of trying to talk to Joe about it, trying to keep Joe calm and relaxed, we lost that battle.  Wednesday night (early Thursday morning), Joe took a fall at 2:30 am.  He cut his elbow and back.  We got him back in bed and he proceeded to get up about every 15 minutes to go to the bathroom.  I did not sleep and got up with him each time.  At 5:50 am I put him in the bathroom and he grabbed his tube/bile bag and yanked hard.  He had pulled it out of his stomach and threw it on the floor.  It happened so fast and I was stunned.  The Hospice Pastor told me later that Joe did that on purpose to let us know it was time to let go.  He was going to make sure of it. After he did that, I had to get past the shock and  kick it into gear to help him.  I won’t go into any more details, but just to say I woke Shelli up and we got him to bed while dealing with the hole in his stomach, got him more meds to help with the severe pain he was having in his stomach and elsewhere, called Hospice and said it’s time to move him.  They were wonderful and had a nurse, a counselor and transport there to get things moving.  While all of this was happening, a little white/grey bird kept tapping on the bathroom window as if trying to tell us something.  I’m probably reading into things, but it was so unusual.  While Hospice was working on Joe, I took a video and some pictures of our concerned visitor.

Once we got to the center, they worked hard to keep Joe calm.  He was in so much pain and they ended up having to medicate him every 10 minutes (dilaudid, ativan and haldol).  Finally, Joe calmed down.  His bleeding was pretty severe and they did a little test.  Around noon they told me that Joe is bleeding internally and will “bleed out” soon.  I asked how soon and they told me probably within 24 hours….at the most 48.  As much as you think you are prepared for that news, you can never be prepared to have your heart ripped out once again.

Soon after we got the news, a lot of our family from the valley had gathered around Joe.  We have been taking 1:1 time with him to say “see you later…never goodbye” and have been gathering as a group to tell stories to Joe.  Our Priest came by and anointed Joe (for the 3^rd time) and we were able to get his parents and sister/brother-in-law from California, here as well.  It’s been a day full of mental exhaustion, so many tears, some laughs, hugs, kisses and constant talking to Joe about how special he is, how many people he has touched, how many are praying for his comfort and letting him know it’s OK to go and be with the Lord.  He deserves it and we know he will be pain free, playing ball very soon.

Please understand that we know Joe can hear us and we are constantly reminding him you are all out there.  We don’t know exactly when he will take his journey and as hard as it will be on all of us, we are convinced that Joe will finally be pain free and in the Lord’s arms soon.

With Love and Thanks,

Sherrie